Post by SyZyGy on Sept 25, 2006 7:30:07 GMT -5
Chapter 35. Hail to the Torturer-in-Chief!
By Larry W. Bryant
[Author's Note: Legal analyst Jennifer Van Bergen, author, book "The Twilight of Democracy: The Bush Plan for America" (Common Courage Press -- 2005), served as one of the panelists during the "Impeachment Day" program held by Camp Democracy near the Washington Monument on Sept. 17, 2006. In her chapter 2 ("The Law Is King"), she notes that ". . . a government [like ours] has to follow its own laws, can't break the rules, must pay a penalty if it does so." She adds that "The Bush Administration would exempt themselves -- the government -- from being held accountable to the law." And she illustrates that official mind-set by citing the U. S. detainee-torture policy and practices carried out in Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison and at Guantanamo. Well, I can offer my own, more recent example of that holier-than-thou mind-set -- one that, thanks to a federal lawsuit by one of its victims, is on its way to reversal. The case centers on whether the U. S. Central Intelligence Agency can get away with flouting a particular provision of the U. S. Freedom of Information Act -- the one that requires federal agencies to grant records-search-fee-waiver requests to those requesters who qualify as "representatives of the news media." In this case of the George Washington University-based National Security Archive, the current CIA leadership decided, some months ago, to deny such fee-waiver requests unless the Archive can prove the news-worthiness of the requested records. Despite intense back-and-forth discussion of this administrative impasse, the Agency chose to fall on its Sword of Stupidity -- causing the Archive, in June 2006, to file suit in U. S. District Court for the District of Columbia. Just a few months later, the Agency changed its (muddled) mind, saying, in effect, "Okay, you guys called our bluff. We'll grant your lousy fee-waiver requests (both the pending ones and your future ones)." Look for the two parties to enter into a "consent judgment" for settling this case within the next several weeks -- shepherded by the judge -- after some more legal maneuvering (all at the taxpayers' expense, ultimately). So much for the CIA's wise stewardship of scarce federal funds. Meantime, here comes to the bar of justice their next victim -- Larry W. Bryant -- in that same federal court, with a nearly identical complaint. For he, too, has been denied the requester status as a "representative of the news media." What's more, his quest for judicial relief -- now in the hands of a seasoned First Amendment attorney in Silver Spring, Md. ( markskatz.com/militarycases.htm ) -- will go beyond the arena of FOIA principles. Bryant plans to invoke the protective armor afforded by his freedom-of-the-press rights as an independent writer specializing in national-security affairs. As an (ironic) example of his publication credits, he'll be citing this very online serialization of the "Bu$ch-Cheezey Impeachment Chronicles."]
SCHMOE: Great work, thingy, on getting that torture-policy compromise rollin' in the Senate. Another fine example of the Unitary 'resident in action! Where to next?
CHEEZEY: Thanks, Tony. See what great minds can do when committed to serve our citizens' interests? Now, we've got to concentrate on the work of our "October Surprise" Task Force. Who knows -- they might just come up with more than one surprise between now and Nov. 7th.
BU$CH: Well, if they do, I hope it'll have enough weight to offset the "October surprise" that Jerry Pippin has in store for us down in Muskogee, Okla. I hear he's well on track for reaching the magic number of 2,500 signatures on that citizens petition for a grand jury impanelment.
TROVE: Yeah, that's right. And he's also garnered a few hundred signatures from Muskogee voters attending their annual county fair. If he does indeed manage to get the 2,500 needed, I wonder what effect that news will have in the opinion polls and on the November general election.
DUMSFELD: Of course, if he's having to take to the streets again to drum up more interest in the petition, it's time for us to play some more HAARP "music" for him. You saw how we succeeded in raining out his petition-drive kickoff on Labor Day. One or two more such extreme weather-modifying feats like that ought to be quite demoralizing. Maybe even an earthquake or two might shake things up -- heh, heh.
CHEEZEY: Get on it, then, Ronnie. And bring us a status report in a couple of weeks. Now, what's the story on media coverage of the Muskogee project?
SCHMOE: I can tell ya that the school newspaper at Oklahoma State University has done a piece on the project. Lucky for us that it zooms in on Pippin's passion for paranormal exploration/entertainment, thus casting him as a kooky clown unworthy of serious-reader interest. Other than that, I understand that Muskogee's local newspaper -- the "Phoenix" -- has been running some pro- and anti-impeachment letters-to-the-editor.
CHEEZEY: And how about that busybody Bryant over there in Alexandria, Va.? What's HE been up to?
SCHMOE: Last I heard, he's made contact with a group out of Silver Spring, Md. ( www.waifllc.org ). He's offering to help them street-sell a pin-on button at public places all over the Washington metropolitan area. The project's proceeds go toward funding a series of pro-impeachment ads placed in various regional newspapers. The guy in charge of this thing, a retired mathematician, keeps the ad content short-and-sharp. [Now, Schmoe pulls from his briefcase a copy of one of the ads, published in the weekly Washington, D. C. "City Paper." It reads: "Because he misled us into war; because he claims he may disobey law: IMPEACH HIM."]
TROVE: Yep, that really is powerful rhetoric -- clean, tight, pointed. We coulda used this guy to help us impeach Clinton, huh? What does the button's message say [interrupting himself] -- "IMPEACH HIM"?
SCHMOE: Exactly. And I'm told he plans to be out there selling 'em in LaFayette Park during the World Can't Wait rally there on Oct. 5th.
CHEEZEY: Any more "good" news from the impeachment front?
SCHMOE: Unfortunately, the impeachment movement in Florida seems to be heatin' up, too. On Sept. 21st, a group called "We're the Deciders "held an anti-Bu$ch rally in Orlando. And a rather sassy Florida-based couple has been traveling 'round the country in a so-called "Truth RV." They've been attending various 9/11-awareness rallies and meet-ups, handing out information and planting other seeds of sedition along the way. Not as much of a threat to us as the Muskogee gang, of course. But I do have a bit more bad news.
BU$CH: Yeah?
SCHMOE: We've just received a fax showing that that Paris newspaper, "Le Monde et La Vie," has yet to respond to our offer of $3 million not to publish any of Kondy's "confession." Instead of responding, the publisher has faxed us this item that her captors had sent to him last week. It's the text of a poem titled "An Ode to My Kondrella" -- written by you, Dubya. Apparently, the poem had been tucked away in Kondy's purse when she was on that last R&R trip to Monaco. Here: I'll read it to ya, and you tell me if it sounds familiar:
"Whenever together we're overseas, We always can do as we please.
But now that you're so far away and alone, How can I ever keep you for my own?
Recover swiftly, my sweetest Kondrella, For you know I'll always be yo' fella.
And remember, Kondy, how much I love ya. Hurry home to your one-and-only Dubya!"